PANIC

Courtesy of the Mishpacha Junior Magazine

Fear refers to the anxiety that something bad may happen to us. Fear is not inherently negative; it actually helps us exercise caution when necessary. But if fear begins to disrupt our functioning – such as preventing us from leaving the house when there are no bombings or epidemics to worry about, or not allowing us to sleep at night – the fear has crossed its healthy boundary and has become a problem that requires treatment.

The following fears are common in children: Sleeping alone in a room, getting something from a dark room or a floor in the house when nobody else is there, or going to borrow something from a neighbor. Young adults and adults will more commonly fear heights, sickness, and speaking in public, to mention just a few.

There are many reasons people develop fears. Fears may be inborn or develop after traumatic experiences, or occur due to other reasons.

It is important never to laugh at others’ fears. People who suffer from fears are in no way less intelligent than anyone else. No one ever knows what the future will bring! Those who believe that they are immune to fear suffer doubly when it does strike: The experience the distress of the fear itself and the shame of feeling it.

Fears that are more extreme are called phobias. Phobia is fear a person feels when facing the mere possibility that he will encounter an anxiety-provoking situation, even when he knows and understands that it is an illogical fear, as past experience and reality prove that it is not dangerous.

Nineteen-year-old Devorah is a quiet girl who spends all her free time with her nose in a book. She once confessed that she does this to cover up for her awkward behavior. In the past, Devorah suffered a bout of mono, and for a few months she was weak and bedridden. When she recovered, she was terribly afraid of anything that might make her feel weak again and she couldn’t resume normal functioning. She was careful to sleep at least nine hours a night, eat three structured meals a day, and avoid physical exertion of any kind. She wouldn’t join trips or Shabbatons, afraid the trip would strain her, or she wouldn’t be able to eat and sleep properly, and the illness would return. She stopped exercising or swimming and wouldn’t walk more than a few minutes’ distance.

When fears reach these proportions, they just grow with time.

There are lists of hundreds of phobias in professional psychology books, ranging from the common to the uncommon, from the relatively reasonable to the totally bizarre (a phobia of touching buttons, of entering through green doors, or seeing bareheaded people).

Sixteen-year-old Shaina came for consultation looking gaunt and pale-faced. She admitted that for a long time she had hardly put any food in her mouth as she had a fear of eating. It started at lunch in school one day, after a girl suddenly felt ill and Hatzolah came. There was a lot of commotion and then the girl was taken to the hospital. Shaina was suddenly struck with fear: What if I suddenly don’t feel well? What would happen if food got caught in my throat and I’d need an ambulance? She imagined everyone standing around her as she was carried on a stretcher toward the ambulance. No, she couldn’t risk eating, putting herself in “danger.” Soon, she began starving herself and losing weight at an alarming pace.

Panic attacks are the peak-result of anxieties. They are accompanied by severe physical symptoms, like quickened heartbeat, breathing difficulty, trembling of hands and legs, dizziness, a cold sweat, nausea, or chest pains.

There are many different methods of treatment for fears, but the most popular and successful is called CBT- cognitive-behavioral therapy. It focuses on changing one’s behavior when encountering a fear-provoking situation. It will force the person to confront his fear and not escape it, and repeated exposure to the source of fear slowly wears away at it and leaves the person finally free to live life fully again.

For Shaina to get rid of her fear of eating, she had to eat! She started eating a little bit a day, and gradually increased the amount until she was eating normally again.

The main thing is to seek help if you think your anxiety level reached unhealthy proportions. You can overcome your fears!

-Adapted from Efshar Latzet Mizeh, written by Rabbi Aharon Friedman in Hebrew on overcoming fears.